documents and kindergarten anthems

paper dreams? >:(

2007-07-05T23:06:00.000+08:00

simple words will do the trick

i need someone who enjoys art museum, weird places and like strawberry smoothie with jelly. ok thats random but i missszzzzxxxx you like fuck shit badly, again.

2 years ago, i remember!
very bad nostalgia.

p/s and maybe we can have a checklist and make a whole funfair thing?
ok wishful thinking but would i be out of lineeeeeeeeeee?

comment come on.
(if you know thats you haha)

would i be out of line if i said i miss you?

2007-05-11T23:40:00.000+08:00

i dont ensemble my words in a fancy manner,
i dont do sugar coating or excuses anymore.

its hard to express my nostalgia in black and white.
and what i thought in my sleep, and at my waking moments.
recently, you're just smack right throughout my entire head.
and my damn flashbacks are so vivid especially at this point of time-
this month.
how about one day, when and if our paths ever cross again
(fucking cliche) we'll sing songs that remind me of you and be friends forevaxxxx
i dont mind, but do you?
or is forgiving possible?

phantom of delight,
you must be tired, cause you've been running through my mind 24/7
(how cheesy, i like!)

2007-02-17T15:02:00.000+08:00

furiously appalled, i presume you're talking about someone particularly close to me.
why dont you keep your hands by your side, your eyes to yourself.
you have this choking impact to my sanity yet you dont worth a single cent to me.
take a step back and look at how the world moves ignoring your self pity and your rantings.
havent you realised how ironic your presence is, that youre better off dead (i wish)

nevertheless, blame you for all your misdoings, how your behaviour stabs the heart like a hidden dagger. and its time to realise youre the problem of your own heartache, the adverse reaction that causes an effect, insignicantly significant in a bothering way.

however, only time will tell,
leaving spaces for doubts and insecurities or forever and love?

from thrice, with love.

2007-01-18T21:03:00.000+08:00

mix the chemicals right dear, mix the chemicals right
yeah the margin of error is slight
mix the chemicals right dear
mix the chemicals right
yeah you know that you could
save my life

there is a risk, there's a risk when your dealing with love
you could snap my neck
any speed you drive can be dangerous

mix the chemicals right dear, mix the chemicals right
yeah you know there's a fine line between
mix the chemicals right dear, mix the chemicals right
cause i know what betrayal can mean

when this frame fails me
will i trust you to carry me through?
i know there's no such thing as safety
but i know what a promise can do.
will i trust you, will i trust you to carry me through?
i will trust you, cause i know what a promise can do

however, theres not promise of safety with these secondhand wings, everyone knows that.

2006-12-30T02:17:00.000+08:00

thats because i cared.
(i hatehatehate self-discoveries)

love actually, is it?
please make it true
fuck time, fuck love?

captain justice

2006-11-04T14:44:00.000+08:00

everyone knows eljay is for friends only so here i am.
so lets sum up yesterday into a clever line : shit happens.

how we know its shit
1) when your mind tells you this while you're doing another, in denial and choking on uselessness and fucked up over all-about-me thing fuck me! (im just a sad ass sucker) ] :
2) when acting on impulse and being a bitch could actually make things worse.

now im trying to swallow my guilt for being an irritant to anyone that displeases me.

when whats hidden under the tongue flaps past your ear, maybe take it as a passing wind because you= priceless and i would never exchange anything for that, once bitten twice shy and i was bitten more than twice so heal me now.somehow indelible.babe,turn that frown upside down(so cheesy) and everyone knows rumours are for losers. &addie singer says: its in the girl code.

please decipher this in a way that i hope you will understand because this chesty feeling is suffocating me. and sorry seems to be the hardest word, just like it in the song.

bottomline = i just dont like to be placed beside what might have thought of a will-be-but-actually-will-not-be kind of thing

clear as crystal, cause i love you my raisondetre.
and because i have to catch my breath extra hard when i saw that face played too many times across my head, this means that you mean so much more than a lifetime to me. you= my biggest worry.
& ill spell your name out in numbers, 38118131914.(just like cute without the e)

sunshine, clouds and everything proud.

2006-10-28T18:48:00.000+08:00

eljay has problems so im using gay blogger.

lets speak in riddles and you'll decipher.
a question or so could send me up above the clouds,
something lesser in return made me realise nothing is forever,
get it right into your head dumbass, like every corner.

if love is for losers, make me a loser then.
i have craving for emo boys,and dont you think it makes me sound hungry?
for now, i wished you were born a girl ):

to you, with love (II)

2006-09-06T00:15:00.000+08:00

i like to look over hoping to catch a glimpse of how you used to stay there and watch the soccer match, how you would stand outside the gate yet i cant bear to see you go, how you'd like to talk in that sleepy voice.
how i hate myself because i couldnt be bothered with you when you woke up early attempting to send me to school, how little i message you, didnt wish to take initiatives, how seldom i would actually call, how many times i would rather check on my messages than talk to you, how i always appeared busy, how i would like to neglect you, how cold i was and how sick i was trying to shrug you away, how unappreciative for all the little things you have done, how much id like to hear you sing to me, how much i enjoy watching you watch world cup, how much id like to see you hopping across the bridge like the cutest ever, how you would run around, how smart you look in colar shirts, how cute you look wearing them, how dirty you are not changing your pants, i like you so much i just cant let you go im lazy to complete because i know its neverending. i want you back as in seriously. ):

to you, with love (I)

2006-09-05T19:21:00.000+08:00

With love, from me to you

I'm having an episode,
do you want a small bit part?
i think you might, i hope you do.
hopes set on expectations
never thought of expiration dates that you've instilled inside my mind
and traces of thoughtless compliments
next year we'll try to make amends
and see where I have come from

why was walking up the hill so much easier?
why do i like to sit facing the lift outside macs?
why do i like to waste my time away doing nothing in macs?
why do i get this swelling within whenever i see the empty benches when i reach home?
why will i get such an unexplained lost feeling everytime?
why do i stupidly like to waste my time making videos singing lost without you, singing i want you to want me?
why do i sulk so much now?
why do i get distracted accompanied with nonsensical thoughts?
why did i enjoy my holidays last last month?
why do i like the song hips dont lie?
why did i join soccer?
why do i start enjoying taking bus 43 or 48?
why do i still get so attached to the name kim tat seng?
why do i still stay online till fucking late?
why do i get a black book?
why will i cry?
why cant i move on?
why do i care about the world cup even though i disliked it?
why did i choose to neglect?
why do i have to be the biggest loser?
why do i like the words wet hot sexy emo and good so much?
why did ssc, macs, bin centre, that coffeeshop bring back memories?
why am i getting my hopes so high?

because its you, because its fucking you.
and because your name bleed by my ankle, so you wouldnt get too close to my heart

lets sum up this love into one smart line
22nd june
soccer
fights
blood
longji
kim tat seng
bus 43
bus 48
bin centre
your green colar
teh-o
snake grass water
spit at me
running around
standing outside the gate
dont go.
sitting adorably watching match
peeped.
sleepy voice
sing to me
woke up super early
send me to school, i didnt want
i hate me.
few messages
much neglect
dont take initiatives
'ill make time for you ok?'
always so busy
im sorry
how i neglect
little things,
how unappreciative i was
watch world cup
you are cute
hopping across the bridge
so cute
skate skate skate
smart look-
colar shirts are the best.
send me home home
sweet ixora,
bvlgari i like
cd shop, you'll visit
babe, i used to call
dirty boy dont change pants
: its from malaysia
cause i didnt care
you wont come back
blame me
ahh, fuck.

the silence goes on and on.
with your name across my chest,
you know you take it back.
it leaves a tear to stay,
the price you pay for making your mistakes.
don't even lay your eyes on mine,
the reflection burns you blind.
this time your demise is inevitable
say your last goodbyes tonight,
and I can't forget the times Ive died.

cause you wouldnt know how much guilt i have to swallow every morning, how much you mean to me. im such a loser but who cares since love is for losers. if nothing is forever, and since you're my nothing already, will that make you my forever?

babe.
come back please.
i know this is redundant because you wouldnt
i hope you're happy then
and i still cant let go ) :

the break-up

2006-07-18T21:55:00.000+08:00

i carved your name across my eyelids, you pray for rain i pray for blindness

i thought of a million and one things we could actually do,
sing you a song,
make a smiley cookie,
let junior meet june,
pick june up from school,
sing me the fat worm song,
be my hottest babe,
visit the bin centre,
walk that favourite route,
smell your bvlgari,
make you smile,
make me smile.

pretty darling, stop running down my street the tears are dropping like a nuclear meltdown
all night long, i'll sing the same somber song.

never will sit, savouring razorblade kisses,
never will play, with blood like goo.
just throw me a cup of sympathy and watch it drip from my cheeks,
exhale, another wasted breath.
air, so crisp you broke those words into words hung across the screen,
3ply soft paper strewn and soiled,
heartbeats catching up with breaths,
your voice left in the memory of my phone,
make your accuses fall from the sky,
slap across my face or sink right to my heart.

Preach all you want but who's gonna save me?
I keep a gun on the book you gave me, hallelujah, lock and load
black is the kiss, the touch of the serpent son
it ain't the mark or the scar that makes you one,
do my eyes betray a hint of lonelinessor an ambiguity

i want to speak these words but i guess i'll just bite my tongue,
and accept "someday, somehow"as the words that we'll hang from.
why does tonight, have to end?
why don't we hit restart,
and pause it at our favorite parts.
we'll skip the goodbyes.

ill sing and perform this time?

theres no promise of safety with these secondhand wings,
the line's drawn, you wont come back.
goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend.

you're my favourite accident.

i love you i love you i love, just like it in the song

2006-07-01T23:03:00.000+08:00

you left trails of notes that pleases into boxes of coloured twinkies,
such a sweetheart, none will ever come by.

first july,
take this chance to learn,or to regret.
is there a promise to help me find the center of me,
i feel nothing but frost against my skin,
what ever happened to warm fuzzy feelings,
and butterflies crashing against the walls of my stomach.

unsatisfied, pride lust and superficial
such pressure, that name pressed against my back,
suppress that desperate cryout, in order to please.
overlooking what i actually wanted,
making a rectangle round
and a circle square.

affected by eyes and words that left their mouths,
i edged toward the realm of being emo,
what ever happened to my happy smilies and happily ever after.

babe, tell me a story that ends sadly ever after.
where the princess dies and the witch gets the prince.
or the wolf ate the children and they never got back.

fairytales are such fraud.
coked with the hopes of happy happy ever after.
lie to the children and deceive them.

i am nothing more, than a line in your book.

2006-05-25T00:23:00.000+08:00

dear ass,

i see intricate words at the back of your throat,
i see the words stuck,
i sit and watch while they turn sour,
words ill never hear,
words they'll never spill.

your selfish intentions,
to my contrary.
i see your silhoutte at the back of my head,
i see it fading soon.

your promise got you choked,
i never did agree.
spin them into harsh words
i sit and laugh,
much discomfort.

i wonder how much you affected me,
a friend, left and leaving
how soon is now.

my sin, my soul
do i have a choice.
you and your anger sit and fold paper birds,
see the wall you painted purple.
what more could you ask for.

you act on impulse
your pride is bigger than you.
your ego almost got you swallowed
what have you to say.

im not pleased,
such foul play.

hey unwanted,
till then.

love,
me

2006-05-01T13:22:00.000+08:00

I'm weary with right-angles, abbreviated daylight,

nostalgia made me choke on beer and smoke.
Terrified of telephones and shopping mall, and knives, and drowning in the pools of other lives.Rely a bit too heavily on alcohol and irony.

have you been waiting for words to spill,
to fill the space, our cups of grace.
a head, so thick no doubt you're so dumb.
i feed on air and nothing love-related so share your tiny impulses with those worthy enough and stop pressing your skin against mine.im all wet from sweat and tears will you come near me?

you havent been a part of me, your presence haunts me in the middle of the night,at least i still have streetlights and empty streets to walk with.you almost got me killed last night, you suffocate me with thick chains called freedom,find the lock and key.
i drown sorrows in ways you dont prefer, but does that mean i dont?

i sucked in all negative utterance like coke into straw,
cut my face with broken glass, so it would make me look perfect.
all straight lines circle sometimes, ill try all ways to help you absorb that.
if im too hard to handle right, maybe this isnt your forte.
you coughed out words id expected so soon, so much for that promise.
hypocrital bullshit you see,

ill try to detach you from my skin sometime,
until you cling back on again.im into raw wounds and fresh blood.
are you?

the stain in the carpet, this drink in my hand,the strangers whose faces I know,so long past past-due, a new name for everything

i always like stories that ends unhappily ever after,
dont you?

2006-04-29T14:44:00.000+08:00

babe the plastic rabbit is so wrinkly.
doesnt that reminds me of you?
you dont have stomach cancer im glad,
ill cook lots of happy meals and make you real fat :D
i wanna see your tummy ooh, i wanna grab it tight.

im really hot now and hurry fix your throat.
sing sing singgg.
yourstruly.

2006-04-20T22:37:00.000+08:00

green plastic rabbit.

sulking like a grumpy dwarf, ive lost the usuals so quickly.
left and leaving, its not even time i get choke on thick blood.

im reading predicaments in ink, fine letters with crisp sides.
sudden nostalgia, tracing my veins.
feed me with your silhoutte.

babe please pay more attention to jade,
feed me jelly out of coffee.
make me smile and i want a puppy.
i like to see you squirm away from dogs.
hahaha buy me fork and spoon and i can eat your cooking.
make me hungry ooh melt me.

ok im gonna get a new phone soon.
ah i miss you.

2006-04-18T23:44:00.000+08:00

babe, you know something.
when i pretend to laugh.
ill laugh like this. ahahaha.
now you know :D

fake right.HEE

2006-04-18T23:17:00.000+08:00

kinky.

babe, you'll be choking on my sweet nothings,
deceived by my dalliance.
oh tease me oh please me.
i'll feed you on candyfloss, sugarcubes and maybe honeystars.
im shy now and you know im not in a good mood.
ill melt you next time, you silly thing.

love,
me

2006-04-17T23:21:00.000+08:00

my peanut is really silly.
oh so sexy.
babbbyyyy arent you glad you're included.
you say im so vague, see this is for you.
i bet you're irritated now. and stop chuckling.
you should dress up more, in school blouse and sexy shorts.
we'll laugh about it and you'll buy me sushi. :D
oh make me blush.
dedicate something to me, and none of sweet revenge ok
loveeeee <3

kaleidescope.
cliche.

2006-04-13T17:01:00.000+08:00

gem.

when hopes get out of style,
when joy turns to dust,
chew on your tongue and lets move on.

iliketolookatyou :D
dressed in white and black,
more than anyone.

2006-03-25T22:56:00.000+08:00

i cant cough out words into clever lines,
ill leave predicaments in ink i hope you'll understand.
when the earth changes to mars,
when a diamond changes to a star,
how quick my heart bleed.
put your hand on my pulse,
mountains are being moved by it.

you leave me a swelling within,
you stepped on the empty doormat.
words entered my ears like good advice,
but can good advice be something negative?

discrimination of wrong doings, yet i see an encore.
with someone, taste like candy.
fountains, taste like salt.
pearls, looks like tears.
wide-eyed wonder, exposed to false play.

keep your answers in a cup,
leave your heart somewhere far.
that way ill never find it,
that way ill forget.
bury me six feet under and perhaps stop me from sinning.
feed me with cheap dirt and soiled water.

some kind of misery you'll never know.
what ever happen to practice what you preach.

perhaps it has just gone out of style.
ill leave the rest to you.
draw me a circle,
complete my square.

your choice.
wake up baby.

how i yearn to.

2006-03-20T23:09:00.000+08:00

all the cheap tricks.

you wont understand unless you ask,
you will get it wrong because its not right.
im not making sense but i just have some kind of stir within.
some unspoken misery do you get me?

♥

2006-03-16T14:13:00.000+08:00

♥ love.
some kind of reassurance.
i need something similar.
i cant lose another you.
some kind of disappointment
i made a new discovery.
accidentally in love.

SENTOSA PICTURES (:

2006-03-15T22:39:00.000+08:00

SENTOSA PICTURES (:

i dont know what ive done to make you make me sieve your spit into rum,
your words into charms, i didnt figure out what that desperation cry means,
until someday, when someone taught me how to hate.

if you think your rights to speak is higher than the sky,
perhaps you find someone, somewhere where you can share your thoughts without a worry of unclear thoughts and words that might soil your perfect offering.

if you think you know me, im sorry you dont.
stop being such an ass and who taught you to judge a book only after you've read chapter one?

i hate you for disappointing yourself, others and everything.
why dont you say you're sorry for being such a failure on earth.
you cant change what others have seen, what others dont get.
you're always doing things that lead to misunderstandings,
you have a thouands to spit, but nothing is coming out.
nobody understands what you're thinking, im sure its not even you.
keep your confusion somewhere near, i hope you all are happy.

we should never have lived like we were skyscrappers.

2006-03-12T17:16:00.000+08:00

ive lost afew.

you send me ignorance in boxes and carts,
i hate it so much, i want you dead.
why did you choke me with your words,
some kind of deception you ass.

keep your hopes high, ill make you fall.
lost, in some kind of plaything,
somewhere called the heart.

maybe when you're less intimidated,
then go out and play.

i can give you an answer, indefinitely.

some trip.

2006-03-08T23:34:00.001+08:00

breakfast, schooled.
parkway, nothing else.
homed and slept till 9plus.
he told me sth, i shouldnt trust.
yearning.

maybe i made the right decision.
how cheap your words can be.
how plastic i knew i shouldnt tell.
not worth it, make me smile (((:

next monday is the 13th :D
would i be out of line if i said i miss you <3
i like breakfast.

2006-03-05T02:16:00.000+08:00

i have a longing of calling someone in the middle of the night just to wake that person up,
maybe just to hear the voice and deny that fact that i miss you.be unreasonable and demand for raw ham and bread. talk about the silliest thing and calling you silly. it all happens too quickly all the tiring flings. just not good enough i guess

you asked me something i thought you knew.
i feel like eating green grapes (:

2006-03-04T13:52:00.000+08:00

such rude awakening,
does it even bother you, you words spat out like toxic,
some kind of stir, do i even know you?

im leaving soon and i hope i dont see you.

2006-03-04T02:10:00.000+08:00

i feel like being disconnected with the world tomorrow,
maybe i shall not reply messages haha. okok?

maybe ill reply the important ppl only lah ok?i feel like i have messaged a thousand houseflies.
oh my!

2006-03-04T01:05:00.000+08:00

birthday, the cake the drinks and the babes.
pour out your sorrows into cups of liquor.
is it worth it can you even hear me
standing with your spotlight on me
not enough to feed the hungry
im tired and i felt it for awhile now
in this sea of lonely.

stop choking me with those typical words,
i have a chesty feeling you'll never understand.

i hope everyone has an imaginary friend,
maybe they'll feel happy :D ahaha

2006-03-02T23:56:00.000+08:00

i cant find the words to cough out onto this page,
just words that come out in pieces and things that say i dont really like you as i expect myself to, you're just so different, i cant get the familiar feeling i get from others, so what you're just a bunch of blur beans, i might not adore it now.
im just too exhausted to run this mile, would you like to carry me through.
ill smile like i mean it, ill love you like how pooh loves bear.

haha what nonsense you spit,
ive got worried for no reason, all i get is ignorance,
something that bothered me. i have a phobia of people sending me home,
i have a phobia of smashing my insides with your mechanical playthings.

left and leaving, please stay ((:

dont get your hopes too high.
sing my imperfect offering.

2006-03-02T00:38:00.000+08:00

im getting this into simple words, better comprehension.
i cant believe you changed the story into some not happily ever after.
defamed of fairytales and whatsoever.
i cant believe you can actually be a bitch.
are you trying to keep your pride on your sleeves,
and keep the shame beneath something somewhat thick.
i cant believe your lies were so plastic.
i cant believe you have the cheek to say things like that.
shame on you.

next, do you know i hate people walking out on me just like that,
ill get mad for that unspoken ignorance, much irritation.
i have a strong desire to adopt a monster or so haha dont you think its so adorable (:

truth, perhaps were to be spoken.
honesty, perhaps the best policy.
tears, the next remedy for such misery.
smiles, are the simplest way of showing some sort of concern,
some sort of love :D

i have a phobia of people leaving.
so would you stay so we can talk about sweet nothings and little stories of monsters and perhaps some dinosaurs ((:

2006-02-27T22:17:00.000+08:00

small simple safe price,
rise the wake and carry me with all my regrets,
this is not a small cut that scabs, and dries, and flakes, and heals
and i am not afraid to die
im not afraid to bleed, and fuck, and fight.
i want the pain of payment
what's left, but a section of pigmy size cuts
much like a slew of a thousand unwanted fucks
would you be my little cut?
would you be my thousand fucks?
and make mark leaving space for the guilt to be liquid
to fill, and spill over, and under my thoughts
my sad, sorry, selfish cry out to the cutter
im cutting trying to picture your black broken heart
love is not like anything
especially a fucking knife

look at me, you can tell
by the way i move and do my hair
do you think that it's me or it's not me?
i don't even care
im alive
i don't smell
i'm the cleanest i have ever been.
i feel big, i feel tall, i feel dry

Just look at me, look at me now
I'm a fake.

Do I drink? Do I date?
I've got perfect placement all my ink
Satisfied, in your eyes
I'm the biggest fan I've got right now
I made sure, that I look how I wanted to look
The people around me, the people surround me

My stomach hurts now, and all tied off in lace
I pray, I beg for anything, to hit me in the face
and this sicknes isn't me, I pray to fall from grace
The last thing I see is feeling
And I'm telling you I'm a fake

i guess ive trusted the wrong person.
im sorry i cant be perfect.
no use crying over spilt milk.

i got your message its suppose to make me smile.
but can you explain why im not?

expecting the expected. is it the end?

2006-02-26T23:38:00.000+08:00

if you have one wish, what would you wish for.

i hope everyone is in love.
sweetest sin.

2006-02-26T01:55:00.000+08:00

theres no promise of safety, with these second hand wings.

i see you looking at me, like im some kind of freak.
it was all unintentional, so irrational.
i got a gift, some kind of jack in a box.
some kind of surprise.
i would like to spin words into clever lines,
i hope that would make things right.
maybe someone have just crossed the line.
something between trust and something else.
leave that smudge across my face,
leave those bloodstains on the floor,
lets pick up the pieces, someday, somehow :D

so kiss me and smile for me,
tell me that you'll wait for me,
hold me like you'll never let me go.

mix the chemicals right dear, mix the chemicals right.

2006-02-24T00:28:00.000+08:00

all the cheap tricks I tried too hard not to pull.
pulled along or pulled apart.
the diagnosis of a foreign frame of heart.
i have a story that I'd like to tell you,it's littered with settings and second takes.
i have a feeling that hums with the street lights and hides under ice in always frozen lakes.
my mistake to make you cringe.

what lies beneath these sheets you cover,
a phobia of deception, lies and solidarity.
some presence, some sort of unintentions.
id never take that grin off your face,
id never shatter such fine glass.
cross my heart.

reality beads on my skin like a slicker in the rain,but now i feel it soaking in and I begin to feel the pain.feel the dejection, deal with the mortification, you havent seen heaven and earth collide have you? should have done something but ive done it enough, by the way my hands were shaking rather waste some time with you. would you like to grant me a jellybean, string of sweet nothings and coloured paperclips and make me smile like i mean it :D

dont get your hopes too high and inevitably wasting your time on false pretences.
pretending that i would be okay.

the rhetoric and treason of saying that ill miss you.of saying "hey, well maybe you should stay."

give me novacaine.

2006-02-23T00:29:00.000+08:00

sing to me, tell me something so typical,
a lullaby or something so miserable.
love, put your heart on your sleeves.

a calendar columns away, some kind of stir,
some sweet stains left on my sleeves.
initials you scrawled in deep, i like it like that,
light of my life,fire of my loins,
my sin, my soul.

reflect your outline through those crystals,
hanging your grin onto something so porcelain.
painting faces in shades of pink, i like the way you stare.
write some happy words on a paper, ill keep them in my pockets.

ive got mail from yooouuuuuuuuuu (((:

my hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me so wont you kill me so i die happy, which ever you prefer.

cuppycake :D

2006-02-19T00:43:00.000+08:00

dont get your hopes too high, cause it was never in style.
some absence will make me too sad, much presence ill be shy.
accident by the road, those bloodstains that face never escaped me.
im afraid AHA, im not used to this silence.
litte things that make it sweet.

i miss wakerman loh tan and wee.

i caught a thousand butterflies today,
so i can send them to your stomach (:
noise and kisses.

2006-02-16T23:56:00.000+08:00

i would like to fill empty spaces with smiley faces
i just cant get enough it, bury the sad faces like dirt in the soil.
i wanna choke myself with smiley faces.
i dont want that cardboard heart, i want a friendly soul.
i want many coloured crayons to paint my joy,
i want a thousand jellybeans to make me happy.
would you be my little cut, would you be my thousand fucks.

im getting away with murder.

2006-02-15T00:49:00.000+08:00

those bloodstains on the bathroom floor,youre brushing past me like a razorblade,
left me bleeding those stains of foolishness coated with anticipation.
repetition is a sign of stupidity, maybe that is why its scrawled all over my heart
why do you have to be so cute, puppyeyes and no style hair.

im not making sense i feel dumb.
its valentines's. no,its over. my letter in my bag.
my hidden smile in my pockets.
soon can?

ooh i love you chooi.

2006-02-14T01:13:00.000+08:00

valentines, and everyone is fawning over tainted hearts and red roses.

i got my paper and ink ready, with thoughts ready to spill to you,
i saw you in white today im glad i hope i see you tomorrow in red.
haha i want red roses from you and scented card with words.
sign your name whichever way and ill keep them by my bed.

oooh can you send somemore butterflies into my stomach?
my letter (:

2006-02-10T15:33:00.000+08:00

you make me choke on words you cant swallow,
i have no idea what goes through my ears,
it just leaves a bitter after taste i hate.

you pull up something down your throat,some black lining or so
smudge them on my face my cheek isnt it fun to you.
i lost myself in a brown cardboard so please find me soon.

my hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me,
so wont you kill me so i die happy, whichever you prefer.

kiss me and stop me from shaking.
white it out like glittering wax butterflies.

i got my wish, so what.
i hope you know im mad at you.

2006-02-10T00:33:00.000+08:00

strung across a montonous screen of a visit much unexpected,
came along soaked in ciggarettes scent, stirring disturbance with further displeasure.
a frown or two, what filth you spill out from your mouth.
leave those scratch marks on her body, im much displeased.
dont worry love, ill spend an hour or two, scrawling tiny hearts so sweet on every inch of your skin, coloured in pink and crimson. smile like you mean it.
stain my heart with your joy and smudge it with many blushes i hope you are happy.

ill trace your outline in spilled sugar, ill wait for you to turn,
would you like to cause redness on my cheeks, say something i desire,
one day you shall, one day i might. ralopraeb <3

i wanna seeee you tomorrow, in the morning
after school, everyday, everywhere. can?

2006-02-03T00:04:00.000+08:00

one night i could not sleep, i got my pillows and my milk. and mother read to me, a story of a girl.
the girl held a papercup filled with happiness, something she'd like to share. along on a road she skipped, with pricks and thorns and many tiny broken glass. what carelessness caused a fall, something that pierced through not just skin, but something vulnerable called the heart. along, she spilled that cup, managed to pick herself up and trudged towards a dense and dark canopy.a sign at the entrance that'd never been seen, scrawled 'misery'. the path was filthy with undesirable tease, toys that tears your skin with reckless decisions, she turned her head, that light of hope was too far beyond reach. the spilled cup, the torn heart an almost forgotten history, buried almost six feet under.

that joyous girl, that someone whose silhouette dances at the back of our head, pirouettes and end with a perfect bow. her repetitive dance skipped through minds and perhaps she was just tired. her soul seeking some serenity, a santuary. a field of bright smiling dandilions, filled with honey smothered roses and sweet butterfly kisses. while absence diminishes the string of hope among cherished hearts.

that girl lost that trace of rainbow behind her, left her friends in a vintage artpiece, dusty yellow canvas of thousand words waiting to spill to her. did she know that behind such fine art, there a message wrote ' we never got tired of loving you, we'll be the bond that keep your heart beating and your smile flowing.'

ive got a bottle and a promise letter sealed with a cork, thrown into sea hoping to find that girl back once again. on the promise letter, a promise ill never break, says ill find the entrace of the light to escape into your life. loving you always, me.

2006-01-24T22:36:00.000+08:00

impulses and anger fills and spills under my thoughts,
clip your excuses on a string, and its time to clean your wings,
dusty feathers choked up in your mouth polish your dim-litted halo.
words of deception pouring out from you, no one's there to catch it.
contradiction swells up, and burst, and stained up my t-shirt.
your deceptions, however my truth.
choose to decipher it, whichever you want.
string your guilt into thread so fine, then pull them out from the back of your throat.
choking with words of apologies which lies no reasons underneath.
it takes two hands to clap i admit, left of mistakes, right of truth,
somehow we fall under the right side of those two.
maybe dig deep into the pits, of whats left over of your integrity and pick them up.
wrap the tongues of not-involved with barbed wires and thread
a dead knot or two, sew your lips up of what should be kept.
did i chew off your arms, or did i gnaw off your legs,
should you leave words lined with broken glass hanging from your tongue,
leaving a clean cut after another so it thrills you oh so much.
time is inevitably wasted, on words spat out from foul mouth,
jealousy turning saints into the seas,
swimming through sick lullabies
choking on your alibies,
when you've outgrown toys and plastic shapes,
perhaps get a pen and paper and write a note,
maybe smudge some apology and remorse on it,
than way i might consider, something better than forgiving.
tragedy, comedy, two sides one coin.
take your pick.

2006-01-18T21:51:00.000+08:00

you were just a stain on my t shirt,
a smudge on my skin.

you leave traces of immaturity laced with a sense of insensitivity in your veins.
beat your brain at the rate of your heart, i hoped that stimulated your intelligence.
words of disgrace wrapped around the tongue named, hers.
so sew this mouth so malicious with threads of despicable impulsion.
your cup of esteem was running low, with spit and bloodstains,
why dont you swallow it up and i hope that got you choked.

feed your assumption with more attention and bury your act with cheap plastic.
suck that bulge in and satisfy yourself with those undesirable dalliance.
keep your hands in your pocket and your nose away from my neck.
inevitably wasting minutes casting your own show,
you are a jackass, a loser, pathetic offspring lunatic on the loose.
get a room for yourself with coloured candies and candyfloss.
i hope you get so fat, that when you jump for joy, you get stuck.
breathe your breath against the windows, fingering the words of "sad ass loser"

i love my girlfriend ever so so keep your tongues in your mouth and your hands roped in tangles

2006-01-15T23:54:00.000+08:00

its good. is it?

2006-01-12T22:42:00.000+08:00

im loving my girlfriends day by day, ooh how much i love them <3

wrap your annoyance around your tongue, i hope you got choked.
tear your despair into shreds and maybe piece them up again
pour your jealousy into jugs and maybe swallow them up .
why did you get this swelling whenever it happens HAHA
come satisfy me :D

ill send you a telegram to tell you that you're annoying.
its a pretty thirteen tomorrow but everyone's gone.

2006-01-09T21:22:00.000+08:00

oh i love my girlfriends HAAHA,anyway miss devi died.
funeral at st joseph's parlour. oh no, i hope she'll rest it peace.
babes were upset just now, many little things, many different things.
im so cold and its raining. ok babe's house tonight and im gonna rescue someone now
HAHA, im a superhero tsk.

2006-01-09T00:11:00.000+08:00

scream out in lustrous pleasures those undesirable dalliance, mocking you with finger dances and those shameful acts, cant blame you for the day is jolly, something worth a gift. yeast on you or you. i like my ah lians :D very much HAHA.
lunch arcade bus floods mccafe sent arent you happy. sweet sacrifice :D
love love love.

i just love my gfs.

2006-01-03T00:03:00.000+08:00

tragedy, comedy, two sides, one coin.
a deceiving feeling of non everlasting and a sweet aftertaste id never get. sew this up with threads of reason and regret so i will not forget, with back turned and revolutionary differences with much adverse chain reactions to either fill or burst.things are propelling towards the other side to keep me much unsatisfied. id rather drop i need a miracle. HAHA

my grandma is a good woman.she bought diamond just for me (:

ps, diamond happens to be just a silly dog HO HO
pss: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TABI, with much love <3
psss: school tmr.

2006-01-01T21:41:00.000+08:00

youre just fucking stupid with your head held back in the ancient time where knights save princesses in their shiny armour but please, please just grow a fucking brain and drain off those fairytale thoughts and fit in some mechanical playthings that can you stop being so fucking stubborn. put your face so near the ground where air just escaped into dirt, swallow your thoughts and come out with something better, something better than plastic. if facts are gonna choke you, why arent you dead now. if reality is harsh, why dont you build a corner for yourself and hide your head in, dragging it in never works. so does involvement hurt so much? words are free so ill get all the i hate you smudged all over your skin and i hope thats enough to keep you buried six feet under. spin the reality round yourself and think of something clever enough to keep you alive, time is running out so why dont you start now. fuck i hate you.

replies,
kim and jacq:
haha well, thats that i cant do anything about it haha, at most ill just drop to normal i have no idea sigh.LOVE AND MISSED <3
charms:
haha yup this is it ((:HAPPY NEW YEAR TOO

2005-12-31T00:39:00.000+08:00

HA, its karma. swallow your fate and live with it hello sec three hello art :D go figure ho ho. its still pretty, maybe. misses all )): love,

2005-12-27T02:22:00.000+08:00

buffalos dont have feelings.

if you dont intend to return me some perfume shouldnt you be using your brains to at least think productively instead of coming out with scheming ideas and making people hate you. isnt it a good thing to succeed. MAHA. give me that fine 10dollars , some other money that belongs to others and you'll be good. keep those contradictions, lip services and curry favouring in a papercup because its easier to dispose when you realize they're just hypocritical bullshit.and someone has been a sad ass liar. scamper away and find someone new, find somewhere new with clothes and food and toys,the homeless shelter down the streets with and its big welcome sign. gather around those dogs round the streets and train them all to be like you and maybe if you dumb it will turn out like its good HA :D when you cant seem to get those hint, maybe ill tell you in your face. I FEEL GOOD (:

ten plus fifteen equals to twenty five.

santa doesnt like bad girls maha (x
HAPPY 27th jacq ((:

2005-12-11T01:41:00.000+08:00

an afternoon away and a night at evelyn's house
tuition is as annoying as you and its quite obvious to say that their soles are clean enough so leave this job and find something new. they are not satisfied too so hurry go just go it would make a million smile. mommy says its good to do a deed, didnt yours teach you that maha. its good to have you

make a circle square and a rectangle round.

2005-12-08T22:20:00.000+08:00

you make me hyperventilate just at the thought of you you're insanely shameless and it takes a fool to make a comment like that brains are used to doing something clever use them well hun. iron your carefully crafted disguise and play a role of an angel hold up a halo with that pitchfork and pose for a perfect picture get it on the streets with that overwhelming hospitality keeping your fingers crossed that they like it much get a pencil and a paper and add on to your mental note that they had actually tore it at your back.

god made brains for a reason :D

2005-12-06T22:43:00.000+08:00

aiyo.
this is so very silly.
the end ((:

2005-12-03T23:11:00.000+08:00

maths book notebook east vale
woman window cleaning.

tampines control station
smile smile smile
heavy equipments rock music.fever.
someone long johns more people
walks blocks flyers.
pants complaints psycho
bus interchange arcade games
pet safari xzone aunty S.
jack's place supermarket xzone
rubbish rubbish rubbish
laugh laugh laugh
whack whack whack.

repetition.

haha you know you like my crap
come get some.
HAHA.no no no.
no kind girl lent unkind girl her bag.

is a sign of stupidity

skinless ass. HAHA
OH MONDAY!

2005-12-01T21:20:00.000+08:00

east vale for tuition
saw mister and mrs.
sense of nostalgia.

painted my room.
haha so didnt go to her house.
but i wanna play xbox!!!

im gonna do my homework tomorrow.
hope to see you soon.

let me talk :D

2005-12-01T00:59:00.000+08:00

breakfast at 10.
rockfever at bedok
tampines and bugis.
tabi's house.
train
nothing else.
oh POO.

homed
dinner.
tv shows.

j's house.
tv and xbox.
made pasta.

home again.

someone owes me alot of christmas gifts.
YES.

ifyo udi sli kewh oothe rsd isl ik e
w hyd on tyo uju stsw al lowt hei rsp itto o?

miss those people at the back of the class :D

2005-11-29T01:45:00.000+08:00

yesterday,
3 hours to him.
3 hours to her.

now too :D

2005-11-27T16:02:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 27TH JACQ :D

beach to bitch.
oh haha later later later.
its fun.

2005-11-27T01:09:00.000+08:00

haha someone is not picking it up.

stayed over at donna's.
absolute vodka, peach ice cream
red bedsheets, gray comforter,
pictures and smiles and hands
cartoons and phonecalls :D

haha waking up in the morning.
cartoons, bread and milo.
left, miko's house.
parkway and east coast.

pictures and rain,
tampines, rock fever.
central park and homed.

sometimes when you just dont get it.
i hate it and thats that.

pretty day :D

2005-11-25T21:16:00.000+08:00

phonecalls :D
thunderstorm and phonecall in the morning.
poor thing.

leaving soon,
that is fun.

i like it like that.
HAHA, dont be childish.

2005-11-24T02:41:00.000+08:00

FUCKSHIT.

dont sheild yourself with these phony lies,
with that dumb wince or that fine grin.

whats the point?

phones are pretty things.
trust me :D

pretty much happy.
oh yes, CKbe. MAHA.

2005-11-21T23:59:00.000+08:00

repetition is a sign of stupidity
repetition is a sign of stupidity
repetition is a sign of stupidity
repetition is a sign of stupidity

so it all comes to a conclusion that i am not very bright.
i make stupid decision for self satisfaction.
but im not satisfied enough to be happy.
and im not happy enough to be satisfied.

i feel so contradicting think i should start eating grass.
ohPOO.

happy potter,
i feel like drinking ribena oh HA.
been missing out alot on my silly babes at the back of class,
miss them much.

i'd rather spend time with strangers :D

2005-11-21T16:36:00.000+08:00

CAKE-AKE+ASK-AS+BE=_______
go figure.

:D what a bore.

2005-11-20T23:59:00.000+08:00

things to clarify,
posts are vague so dont get me wrong if i sound like im directing anything to anyone cause YOU can be anyone.
yes, no misunderstandings.

BE GOOD.
go listen to muse :D

its not good to think too much.

2005-11-20T23:16:00.000+08:00

" she talk big one lah,
love to say how GREAT she is and all those shit.
she love to discriminate ppl too"

you can choose to believe it or not.
maybe you just have to see for yourself,
others have seen. and thats that.

DO SOMETHING SMART PLEASE?

2005-11-20T19:02:00.000+08:00

i am nobody,
and nobody is perfect.

so tell me,
whats contradicting.
YOU or this.

phoned till break of dawn
j and m, :D
much joy, much learnt.
oh HAHA.

but sometimes,
i would rather be the foolish one.
sometimes,
i dont wanna care too.just so superficial.

you can tell whatever you want,
to anyone, anytime
i dont really give a fuck about it,
i dont know what joy you get by doing so.
FUCKINGLIES.

your just a fusion of THOSE two.

if you have anything to spit out,
spit it on my face, why the back?
its silly how you fuss over minor things
that have a high possibility of not being true,
but well, you just choose to think that way.

guai lan.HA
hokkien hokkien hokkien ((:

if you feel awkward,
why dont you leave?
were you suppose to belong?

i want the thing that belongs to me back:D
SOON.

before you think of lies to spin,
try swallowing it first.
strip that facade,
lie naked.

fake,

2005-11-18T23:16:00.000+08:00

i read a particular stranger's blog.
that nostalgic feeling is back again.

i miss the times we just sit and do nothing,
the times when we acted silly and just be ourselves.
we sing, we drink, we played
everything was bliss,
except the animosity.

the old times,
was it never meant to be?

i really dont know.
dont ask me why someone is calling me now.
i dont like to rekindle the feeling,
ever again.
DOORMAT, twice.

it sucks. just leave me with nothing and nothing.
ill be happy enough with a mirror, a paper clip and something not that sharp.

its good to get invited,
but it never was fun to face the problems,
meet the problems and do something about it.

just cherish the one you have now,
before its too late.

why are words of consolation so stereotypical.

donna's leaving tomorrow,
LETS GO TO THE AIRPORT :D

2005-11-17T00:38:00.000+08:00

its either intentionally or you're just carrying a grudge.

i have not much idea what i can really spit out from my mouth now,
i have not much thoughts and actions that'll be clever enough to make you happy.
i have not much wisdom to do whats right.
i have a blackhole drawing me in.

its time to realise,
nothing is actually good for you.

ive gotten people into deep shit and i feel fucked.

eunos, miko,
marine terrace, shoes,
bus, maria, tabbi,
pictures, arcade,
babes, arcade,
them, some pretty.
reminiscing.

macs, talks,
messages, lollipop,
arcade, that one inch,
that distant, so near yet so far.

i know its never gonna work.
EVER AGAIN.

blah and bedok
drinks and dumbshits,
screwed j up.

why cant i pour my regrets into a papercup and dispose it.
aching and it sucks.

why, just answer this,
ill be satisfied.

things are bad, even though it sounds good,
things are good, even though it sounds bad.
so which one actually made sense?

muse is goodshit.

IM SORRY, im a fucking dumb bitch.
its not use being jealous or envy.
i know IT has to end,
ive stopped and its hard to get IT back.
just lock a gun into my mouth.

the end.
its really bad.

2005-11-15T23:57:00.000+08:00

where's my personal PSL huh?
KIM ARH KIM!
i need to talk to you.

ANYWAY, ALL THANKS TO ME :D
yes, let me choke on spilt ink.

am i suppose to say sorry?AHA.

2005-11-15T22:22:00.000+08:00

i dont wanna hear that anymore,
that gruff voice of impurity.
i have no idea what im talking about.
but thats that.

im sorry if you're in trouble.
but what can i do,
you cant cry over spilt milk.

this way, maybe you'll hate me,
and push me towards giving up.
NOT BAD.

i wanna sing craig david's song,
i just dont love you no more.
that song, one day.

2005-11-15T00:47:00.000+08:00

maybe the fact is,
im not even in the picture.
or maybe just that speck of unwanted cut,
seal it up and picture perfect.

maybe thats all you wanted.
pride and fame.

and perhaps i was just your regret.

towned, those babes <3
kembangan, jln tuakong.
CHARMAINE'S PARTY :D
unwanted fucks, dampened.
digging for a hole,
just to hide the things i dont want you to see,ever again.

this fuzzy feeling,
pushing a lump to the throat.

a call now,
basking in the sun,with the many.
and YOU.
aiyah no thank you lah.

ma, tell me when its over.
i dont like shows that end unhappily ever after.

2005-11-15T00:01:00.000+08:00

up there, where you see just two.
hands were the master
the undesirable dalliance.
basking in the moonlight.
soaked in chlorine.

flashbacks and bitter sweet memories.
struggling with the past and present tense.
crossing that fine line to moving on,
or just staying on and bleed myself dry.

a girl and a girl.
one threatened to slit,
the other promised not to leave,
sweet huh?

you taught me a lesson,
ill never involve the emotions.
this way, when you cross the road and die,
at least i wont cry.

what if its over?

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesnt even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all (((:

rainbow beside the moon.
i wanna see more of it,
just with you :D

anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHARMAINE <3

2005-11-12T23:54:00.000+08:00

melt like mars bars, just the arms.

i want you to know.
and if you want to know, i know you can know.
if you wanna know.
and if you know im talking about you,
just go. a user and a password.

you'll dig it all out.
its all about you :D

and the reason is you.

2005-11-12T21:21:00.000+08:00

39 more minutes 39 more minutes.
AHA, leaving leaving leaving soon.

i had a horrible dream.
i had horrible horrible acne.
i nearly died. but i dreamt of Y too,
i was HAPPY.

oh well.i dont want any STUPID disappointments please.
put the lime in the coke you nut :D

2005-11-12T16:20:00.000+08:00

someone made me really really really really happy.
lets play a game of pictionary and guess who :D

but when all good things come to an end,
its still disappointment.
so dont get your hopes too high.
you're always too fast for me.
cant it just slow down for a while.
literally (X

for now, ill just sit and smile.
but why now?

2005-11-12T01:11:00.000+08:00

aha, my fate with the old ladies.
and i think joo owes me sushi.

irresistable lah. AHAHA.

i bet you'll think its me.
but hun, i have a life alright.

2005-11-12T01:07:00.000+08:00

hear the silence,
its some pathetic souls dying inside.
yes, sit and watch the world crumble.
wait for it to come to an end.

i hope you're not sitting with me :D

i want it so badly till i cant get it anymore.
you give love a bad name.

2005-11-10T20:24:00.000+08:00

I hope that I can seem flawless to you

Looking, laughing, talking all your shit
Wondering if you live your life just so you can fit
Could it be real
Or you're a fake

Life must be empty when living a lie
With something to hide and nothing to show
You have learned nothing but how to destroy
Things that friends love you couldn't leave alone

Someday it's gonna hit you between the eyes
that the seeds have already been sown
Find your own garden because you still need space to grow
Until that time you will remain alone

Don't try to come around with your pathetic lies
cause I can see it in your eyes
that you will always be the same
and you will never have to say goodbye
it's time for truth and not for lies..
that you have always told
your trust was bought and sold you're all alone

somewhere in this lonely game of sympathy there is a selfish dream

i was blind to overlook that facade,
that deep crack in the skin,
leads me to your bitter soul.
thanks, i tasted.
bye i hated.

self denial

You made sorrow sound like a good friend

2005-11-09T20:28:00.000+08:00

lies can't pretend, just another way of thinking
people can change when it seems they're not there for you
truth cannot lie, never heard a better word that trust.
let me count the ways that I feel so sorry
when it rains it drains the spirit dry
we all have our mishaps, misfortunes, misopportunities
and the strength to carry on consider yourself free.
and you don't deserve this.

find your life,
grab it tight,
think about it, and maybe do a little soul searching.
its good for you, and maybe everyone.
thanks :D

i dont like you no more.bitch ((:

2005-11-08T18:54:00.000+08:00

i see you clinging, stereotyping just to feel comfort, just to belong
desperate for meaning to make sense of your life
let me try to make you understand.
you got it wrong

youre not gonna catch me waving flags over my head
looking straight and standing tall
i refuse to build the wall by adding my own bricks
that separate us all

i'd rather die than be a part of your pride.

maths, its screwed.
HAHA, talking to some silly girl about stuff.
plans for tmr and friday.
YAY im not seeing her.
sigh.

would i be out of line, if i said i miss you :D

KIM:
haha kim is the best PSL lah, haha you silly you. ill tell you when i see alright? haha yes, i can give up so easily :D:D:D its good isnt it. HAHA baby wakerman HAHAHA. ((:

2005-11-07T23:22:00.000+08:00

ill go on a mini hiatus,
away from some bitches who's basking in their new found glory.

aye, thanks arh, thanks.
you hide your lies with a smudge,
and bury your past in black,
hoping no one will dig them out,
ill exhibit them into an array of seven deadly sins.
the way you got yourself tangled in that folds of velvet,
i hope you stumble and you choke on yourself.
yes, thats that.

i hate you now, thats real.

and KIM:
haha when were you worth it?
anyway kim. its over lah.
haha and please dont say out the name thank you you.
HAHA :D

2005-11-06T22:38:00.000+08:00

when things are bad, its bad.
AHA, i cant even watch my happytreefriends.
ok so deprive of cartoon violence lah,
slap me with something that leaves a mark on my face.
thank you you (:

i think kim is really silly lah,
thanks for your silly stuff HAHA :D

ok catching up with silly old friends,
i am quite happy, at least i know sometimes i can do without you :D

oh i sound so emotional.
ah, i need a break.HA

here, a little jealousy,
for you to waste on me

2005-11-06T01:49:00.000+08:00

i need black and checkered bedsheets :D

phone rings, YOU ((((((:
7.38, i smile.
just dont make it ugly, ever again.

thats when i love you.

2005-11-03T23:11:00.000+08:00

when you can't quite match your clothes
or when you laugh at your own jokes
that's when I love you
i love you more than you know.

FINALLY, with many more disappointments.
met meina, she got me TOP ((((((:
MAHA, fer and her.
bused and talks,
cab and parkway,
jasmine and silly things.
yes, thats all and i hate it.

the end.

oh yes,
kim:
you did not teach me at all.you were my distraction lah.HAHA.

anyway, just thursday.
stupid people must go to school tomorrow :D

2005-11-02T23:06:00.000+08:00

ohyes, im suppose to post alot of HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM.
haha,so kim dont be shy.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM.

oh well, actually its suppose to be BELATED,but who cares.
thanks for your dog poo :D:D:D

2005-11-02T21:21:00.000+08:00

they say there's 6 other people that looks like you in the world,
is there anyone with the same feelings as you, at the same time?

HAHA, i think i found one for myself,
plus (HAHA) go figure.

eyes closed, just you.
creeping right into my vein, choked.
i feel like giving up on alot of things.
im so tired of fearing what may be of today,
that unpredictable versatility.
however, it may just change and become another thing the next day.
i dont want to be happy for a moment and sad the other.

i seriously hate myself.

today was a big disappointment.

but would i be out of line if i said i miss you.
i miss you lah.

2005-10-31T20:35:00.000+08:00

living in self denial is like suffocating myself with bubble wrap.
ahh, forget it.
~~i miss you.~~
OK FINE, I DONT

i hope you choke on fishballs this time.
ok nevermind, i change my mind.

~~ikhouvanjou~~ :D:D:D
flamish/ flemish (?) AHA

2005-10-31T19:05:00.000+08:00

for the time being,
when i decided not to think of you.
i miss those silly people behind the class.
HAHA.

i dont know why i just have the urge to do sth to kim now.
AHA. i miss them all :D:D:D:D

2005-10-30T23:24:00.000+08:00

goodnight stupid liar.

2005-10-30T19:09:00.000+08:00

since when were you bothered by the way i say things.
since when do you even care.

im just a sensitive dust mite that needs to get blown away.
and perhaps you just did.

you destroyed my happy plans.
i really hope you get eaten by frogs.
but i cant bear to see that.

so what is it now,
you tell me.

2005-10-29T23:35:00.000+08:00

oh forget it.
just put that heart into a papercup and dispose it.
yesterday's feelings.

2005-10-29T21:16:00.000+08:00

ahhh i rather have this than her.
ok maybe im just kidding.
LOOK its so pretty :D:D:D:D
well, quite?

NOKIA 3250 (click)
AHA i want.
ill get you something made of elephant hair!!!
pretty please? YAY thanks ((((:

sigh its so quiet now
i have no one to shout to.
i wanna tell someone i want that stupid 3250 phone.

ah, such a waste of sms.
i think you should eat grass or something.
poo.

2005-10-29T20:40:00.000+08:00

its diluted.
so very diluted.
all you wanted was THAT.
im not silly enough to not understand that.
so its either this or that.

i just dont love you no more.
you dont even care.

2005-10-24T20:27:00.000+08:00

im just trying to save you from the humiliation.
so im not gonna say your damn fucking name.

you are such a fake.
why lie that you have so many ex boyfriends.
is it that cool to brag about your love life.
dont you have anything better to do.
like measure your brain size?
oh wait! i forgot. you lost yours.
i apologise. HA

oh and why make things sound like you're the one getting IT.
when you're just the one making IT.
aye, sometimes i pity why you dont bother finding your brain.
why? oh im sorry. i forgot about your missing brain.
you cant even co ordinate your anus,
i know you love leaving trails of your faeces and lick them up.
i understand your need in these kind of things.
sympathy.

so you're guilty.
so you know you're at fault.
why make threats when you know you're wrong?

ill dig up a hole for you just to bury yourself alive.
ill get a whole union of ANTI-YOU to dig with me.
oh man. thats gonna be easy.

you never know how much people hate you.
you never know how much they just wanna rip out your hair and make you swallow it.

so you think you're close to her.
oh puh-lease.
do you realise how far you are from her.

its just a facade.

so you really think people actually like you?
think twice or thrice.

you're an itch i cant wait to get rid.
you're a bitch i feel like killing.

the hatred is choking me so deep i just cant come out with the thousand clever lines. just forget it just forget it.

its time to realise i should not lower my standard just to waste my time one you.
oh well. i feel much better.

2005-10-24T00:11:00.000+08:00

jealousy turning saints into the sea.

i still love you so :D:D:D

2005-10-19T21:46:00.000+08:00

im sorry babe,
but i just dont love you no more.

i think ive shocked myself too.
but dont i always acting on impulse?

perhaps you can try changing my mind if you bother.
AHA.

isnt this how things always end?
now you tell me.

2005-10-18T22:24:00.000+08:00

failing mostly everything.

oh poo. i crave for lemon cream crackers.
ooh i like ((:

im done with cutting my sour plum.
and ill move on to missing you.MAHA.

get a life.

love,
me