small simple safe price,
rise the wake and carry me with all my regrets,
this is not a small cut that scabs, and dries, and flakes, and heals
and i am not afraid to die
im not afraid to bleed, and fuck, and fight.
i want the pain of payment
what's left, but a section of pigmy size cuts
much like a slew of a thousand unwanted fucks
would you be my little cut?
would you be my thousand fucks?
and make mark leaving space for the guilt to be liquid
to fill, and spill over, and under my thoughts
my sad, sorry, selfish cry out to the cutter
im cutting trying to picture your black broken heart
love is not like anything
especially a fucking knife

look at me, you can tell
by the way i move and do my hair
do you think that it's me or it's not me?
i don't even care
im alive
i don't smell
i'm the cleanest i have ever been.
i feel big, i feel tall, i feel dry

Just look at me, look at me now
I'm a fake.

Do I drink? Do I date?
I've got perfect placement all my ink
Satisfied, in your eyes
I'm the biggest fan I've got right now
I made sure, that I look how I wanted to look
The people around me, the people surround me

My stomach hurts now, and all tied off in lace
I pray, I beg for anything, to hit me in the face
and this sicknes isn't me, I pray to fall from grace
The last thing I see is feeling
And I'm telling you I'm a fake

i guess ive trusted the wrong person.
im sorry i cant be perfect.
no use crying over spilt milk.

i got your message its suppose to make me smile.
but can you explain why im not?

expecting the expected. is it the end?

if you have one wish, what would you wish for.

i hope everyone is in love.
sweetest sin.

theres no promise of safety, with these second hand wings.

i see you looking at me, like im some kind of freak.
it was all unintentional, so irrational.
i got a gift, some kind of jack in a box.
some kind of surprise.
i would like to spin words into clever lines,
i hope that would make things right.
maybe someone have just crossed the line.
something between trust and something else.
leave that smudge across my face,
leave those bloodstains on the floor,
lets pick up the pieces, someday, somehow :D

so kiss me and smile for me,
tell me that you'll wait for me,
hold me like you'll never let me go.

mix the chemicals right dear, mix the chemicals right.

all the cheap tricks I tried too hard not to pull.
pulled along or pulled apart.
the diagnosis of a foreign frame of heart.
i have a story that I'd like to tell you,it's littered with settings and second takes.
i have a feeling that hums with the street lights and hides under ice in always frozen lakes.
my mistake to make you cringe.

what lies beneath these sheets you cover,
a phobia of deception, lies and solidarity.
some presence, some sort of unintentions.
id never take that grin off your face,
id never shatter such fine glass.
cross my heart.

reality beads on my skin like a slicker in the rain,but now i feel it soaking in and I begin to feel the pain.feel the dejection, deal with the mortification, you havent seen heaven and earth collide have you? should have done something but ive done it enough, by the way my hands were shaking rather waste some time with you. would you like to grant me a jellybean, string of sweet nothings and coloured paperclips and make me smile like i mean it :D

dont get your hopes too high and inevitably wasting your time on false pretences.
pretending that i would be okay.

the rhetoric and treason of saying that ill miss you.of saying "hey, well maybe you should stay."

give me novacaine.

sing to me, tell me something so typical,
a lullaby or something so miserable.
love, put your heart on your sleeves.

a calendar columns away, some kind of stir,
some sweet stains left on my sleeves.
initials you scrawled in deep, i like it like that,
light of my life,fire of my loins,
my sin, my soul.

reflect your outline through those crystals,
hanging your grin onto something so porcelain.
painting faces in shades of pink, i like the way you stare.
write some happy words on a paper, ill keep them in my pockets.

ive got mail from yooouuuuuuuuuu (((:

my hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me so wont you kill me so i die happy, which ever you prefer.

cuppycake :D

dont get your hopes too high, cause it was never in style.
some absence will make me too sad, much presence ill be shy.
accident by the road, those bloodstains that face never escaped me.
im afraid AHA, im not used to this silence.
litte things that make it sweet.

i miss wakerman loh tan and wee.

i caught a thousand butterflies today,
so i can send them to your stomach (:
noise and kisses.

i would like to fill empty spaces with smiley faces
i just cant get enough it, bury the sad faces like dirt in the soil.
i wanna choke myself with smiley faces.
i dont want that cardboard heart, i want a friendly soul.
i want many coloured crayons to paint my joy,
i want a thousand jellybeans to make me happy.
would you be my little cut, would you be my thousand fucks.

im getting away with murder.

those bloodstains on the bathroom floor,youre brushing past me like a razorblade,
left me bleeding those stains of foolishness coated with anticipation.
repetition is a sign of stupidity, maybe that is why its scrawled all over my heart
why do you have to be so cute, puppyeyes and no style hair.

im not making sense i feel dumb.
its valentines's. no,its over. my letter in my bag.
my hidden smile in my pockets.
soon can?

ooh i love you chooi.

valentines, and everyone is fawning over tainted hearts and red roses.

i got my paper and ink ready, with thoughts ready to spill to you,
i saw you in white today im glad i hope i see you tomorrow in red.
haha i want red roses from you and scented card with words.
sign your name whichever way and ill keep them by my bed.

oooh can you send somemore butterflies into my stomach?
my letter (:

you make me choke on words you cant swallow,
i have no idea what goes through my ears,
it just leaves a bitter after taste i hate.

you pull up something down your throat,some black lining or so
smudge them on my face my cheek isnt it fun to you.
i lost myself in a brown cardboard so please find me soon.

my hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me,
so wont you kill me so i die happy, whichever you prefer.

kiss me and stop me from shaking.
white it out like glittering wax butterflies.

i got my wish, so what.
i hope you know im mad at you.

strung across a montonous screen of a visit much unexpected,
came along soaked in ciggarettes scent, stirring disturbance with further displeasure.
a frown or two, what filth you spill out from your mouth.
leave those scratch marks on her body, im much displeased.
dont worry love, ill spend an hour or two, scrawling tiny hearts so sweet on every inch of your skin, coloured in pink and crimson. smile like you mean it.
stain my heart with your joy and smudge it with many blushes i hope you are happy.

ill trace your outline in spilled sugar, ill wait for you to turn,
would you like to cause redness on my cheeks, say something i desire,
one day you shall, one day i might. ralopraeb <3

i wanna seeee you tomorrow, in the morning
after school, everyday, everywhere. can?

one night i could not sleep, i got my pillows and my milk. and mother read to me, a story of a girl.
the girl held a papercup filled with happiness, something she'd like to share. along on a road she skipped, with pricks and thorns and many tiny broken glass. what carelessness caused a fall, something that pierced through not just skin, but something vulnerable called the heart. along, she spilled that cup, managed to pick herself up and trudged towards a dense and dark canopy.a sign at the entrance that'd never been seen, scrawled 'misery'. the path was filthy with undesirable tease, toys that tears your skin with reckless decisions, she turned her head, that light of hope was too far beyond reach. the spilled cup, the torn heart an almost forgotten history, buried almost six feet under.

that joyous girl, that someone whose silhouette dances at the back of our head, pirouettes and end with a perfect bow. her repetitive dance skipped through minds and perhaps she was just tired. her soul seeking some serenity, a santuary. a field of bright smiling dandilions, filled with honey smothered roses and sweet butterfly kisses. while absence diminishes the string of hope among cherished hearts.

that girl lost that trace of rainbow behind her, left her friends in a vintage artpiece, dusty yellow canvas of thousand words waiting to spill to her. did she know that behind such fine art, there a message wrote ' we never got tired of loving you, we'll be the bond that keep your heart beating and your smile flowing.'

ive got a bottle and a promise letter sealed with a cork, thrown into sea hoping to find that girl back once again. on the promise letter, a promise ill never break, says ill find the entrace of the light to escape into your life. loving you always, me.